Newsletter
February 2025 Newsletter
March 2025 Blog
Why Leaving an Abusive Relationship is Difficult: Understanding the Complexities
For those who have never experienced an abusive relationship, it can be difficult to understand why someone might stay in such a harmful situation. From the outside, it may seem as though leaving is the obvious choice. However, the reality is far more complex. Leaving an abusive situation is not only emotionally challenging but often comes with significant personal, logistical and safety-related obstacles. At True North of Columbia, we aim to shed light on these barriers to foster greater understanding and empathy for survivors of abuse.
Emotional and Psychological Barriers
Emotional and psychological abuse can leave survivors feeling worthless, hopeless or incapable of surviving on their own. Abusers often manipulate their victims through gaslighting, blame-shifting and emotional degradation, making them doubt their own perceptions and judgment. Over time, this erodes self-esteem, leaving survivors feeling powerless and undeserving of a better life.
Financial Dependence
Many abusers exert control through financial means, limiting the victim’s access to money, employment or financial resources. Without the means to support themselves or their children, survivors may feel trapped and unable to leave.
Fear of Retaliation
Survivors may fear retaliation, including physical harm to themselves or to their children, family or pets. These threats are very real, and the decision to leave often involves careful planning to ensure safety.
Social and Cultural Pressures
Cultural norms or religious beliefs may discourage separation or divorce, creating additional guilt and pressure to stay. In some cases, abusers isolate their victims from support systems, making it even harder for survivors to seek help or feel supported in their decision to leave.
Love and Hope for Change
It’s important to understand that survivors often love their abuser. They may hope their partner will change and that the relationship can improve. Recognizing love can exist alongside abuse is key to understanding why an individual might stay.
At True North of Columbia, our mission is to provide compassionate support and resources to help survivors navigate these obstacles and rebuild their lives.
Understanding and empathy are powerful tools in supporting survivors of abuse. By educating yourself and others about the complexities of abusive relationships, you can help break the stigma and provide a supportive environment for those who are struggling.
Leaving an abusive relationship is never easy, but with the right resources and support, it is possible. At True North of Columbia, we are here to walk alongside survivors on their journey to safety, healing and a brighter future.
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic or sexual violence, help is available. True North’s crisis hotline is open 24/7 at 1-800-548-2480, providing confidential support, resources and a path to safety. You are not alone—we are here to help.
April 2025 Blog
How to File a Restraining Order: A Guide for Victims
At True North of Columbia, we know seeking a restraining order can be overwhelming, but sometimes it’s a crucial step toward safety. Here’s a simplified guide to help you through the process.
Step 1: Obtain and File Forms
To file a restraining order, otherwise known as an Order of Protection in the state of Missouri, you can file with True North or at your local circuit clerk’s office. If you are filing the order of protection, you are classified as the petitioner. The person you are filing against is classified as the respondent.
While filing for your order of protection, you will clearly document specific incidents of abuse or threats. Instead of giving general statements, use precise details, such as dates, locations, and what was said or done.
If you need your address to be kept confidential from the respondent, you can mark that you want your address to be kept confidential. It is important to make sure confidential addresses are not left on parts of the document that will be served to the respondent. If you have questions about how to ensure this, you can ask a True North staff member or a circuit clerk for help.
Step 2: Judge’s Review
After filing, a judge will assess your petition. If immediate danger is evident, they may issue a temporary restraining order, otherwise known as an ex parte in the state of Missouri, for protection until the hearing. If your temporary ex parte is denied, you will still have a hearing on whether a full order of protection will be granted to you.
Step 3: Serving the Respondent
Law enforcement or a process server will officially notify the respondent by serving them with the order of protection. This step is essential, as an order cannot be enforced until served to the respondent. If your ex parte was not granted, the respondent will be served with a notice of the hearing for the full order of protection along with the content from your petition.
Step 4: Knowing Your Rights
According to Missouri state Statute 455, the petitioner has a right to ask that the order of protection renews annually or as the judge sees fit. The petitioner also has the right to seek an order of protection that lasts from two to ten years if the respondent poses serious danger to the physical or mental health of the petitioner or of a minor household member of the petitioner.
Step 5: Court Hearing
There are three possible outcomes at an order of protection hearing:
- Your hearing may be continued: Both the petitioner and respondent have the right to ask the judge for a continuance. This could be for the purposes of hiring an attorney, for more time to prepare their evidence, or other conflicts.
- Your order of protection could be denied: Though it is never the hope of a petitioner, it is possible that the judge will find insufficient evidence to grant you an order of protection.
- Your order of protection could be granted: In the event that your order is granted, you will have protection from the respondent under all the terms granted by the judge.
The hearing will ultimately determine whether or not your order of protection is granted. Prepare by gathering:
- Your Testimony: Any statements you would like to make to the judge to explain why you feel you need an order of protection.This may include information about the events that led to you filing the order, previous history of behavior, violence, or threats from the respondent, and/or other reasons you are in fear of the respondent.
- Witness Statements: Testimony from others who observed the respondent’s behavior which led to you filing an order of protection. These should be facts, not assumptions or opinions. Witnesses may include law enforcement officers, teachers, neighbors, doctors, child care providers, friends, family, or anyone else who witnessed the respondent’s behavior.
- Police Reports/Medical Records: Documentation of any encounters with police or medical personnel during or after the events leading to your filing of an order of protection. Medical records may include any documentation of medical attention received as a result of the respondent’s actions/behavior.
- Photos, Threatening Messages, or Recordings: Digital evidence of the respondent’s actions leading to and after your filing of an order of protection. Photos may include pictures of injuries, damage to property, or other photos depicting the respondent’s behavior. Threatening messages may include screenshots of texts, repeated phone calls, messages or posts on social media, emails, or other digital/physical forms of threats. Recordings may include video recordings, audio recordings, or voicemails of the respondent that the petitioner wants the judge to see.
You Are Not Alone
Taking legal action can feel overwhelming, but you don’t have to go through it alone. True North of Columbia is here to offer support, guidance, and resources to help you stay safe. If you are in immediate danger, call 911. For confidential assistance and advocacy, reach out to True North of Columbia – we’re here to help you take the next step toward safety and healing.
April 2025 Newsletter
